Tag: Romantic attraction

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Honey (positive stories) attracts more bees

Ttn_Flower_Gif

You get more bees with honey, i.e., you’ll find your lover by first becoming sweet. I know I get better results when I think positive thoughts, i.e, when I tell better-feeling stories.

Even better results come when I open up and allow my positive stories to dominate my awareness. Doing that, everything I want comes into view. I see differently, subsequently I feel differently and life matches that.

That’s why living in positive stories feels good and also creates life consistent with feeling good. When I’m positive, I’m more confident, I love myself more. Like a blossoming flower, bees find me, I don’t need to look for them. So too transgender women find me, I don’t need to go after them.

I like knowing that. I knew that Tuesday morning after waking. It felt so good in fact I wrote this:

Clarity in wake state feels like cool wind on hot, sun splashed days. A welcome relief. Negative thoughts ringing loud and clear, are clarions sounding future wake state moments, a future foretold, my future, a future unwanted.

Aware now, I resist resisting these thoughts. Old habits of pushing against unwanted thoughts give way to appreciation: I know now that every unwanted thought turns into improved thought when allowed passage via dispassionate observance rather than wishing they weren’t there and thereby giving birth to resistance.

April showers, they come and go, leaving fertile, softened soil, perfect conditions for soon-to-sprout goodness. So too are my negative thoughts, better termed “unwanted”. Like sprouting seeds my unwanted thoughts give way to new realities which draw to them fulfilled wishes like bees to blossoms. Like bees to blossoms, these fulfilled wishes prompt smiles of joy, satisfaction and more.

After all that deliciousness I created the gif above. So cool how creativity begets more creativity. That’s exactly the process that creates physical reality. And it’s the process trans-attraction fulfills itself when no resistance stands in the way. In other words when I don’t tell negative stories.

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Are Straight Men Into Transgender Women?

Berwin coroza - Relationship Beliefs matter FB blog
Photo: Berwin Coroza

A transgender woman today asked the following questions about her ex boyfriend who is showing renewed interest in wanting to have sex with her.

We get this kind of question sometimes at The Transamorous Network.

We decided to share our answer because it could be useful for other transgender women having similar questions.

We’ve expanded our answer for clarity.

Here’s what she wrote. We have edited it for clarity also:

My ex boyfriend said he likes me and he just want[s] to [have] sex with me. But he doesn’t like my p[e]nis. He said he likes only vagina. But [he] still want[s] to [have] sex with me. What [does this] actually mean? [I]s he denial or he [can’t] find [a] cis woman? But he is super cute…Are straight men really [into] transwomen? [O]r [do] GAMP (Gynoandomorphilc) m[e]n…like TS girl more?
Our answer:
If we were you, we would not focus so much on labels. Or try to understand men by putting labels on them.

We would particularly pay NO attention to the GAMP theory. It is a story that demeans who you are.

For men to fit in these categories and for the categories to be valid, then the theory’s reference to you (as a transgender woman) must also be valid, which demeans you as a person.

So it is self-mutilating to think about that theory: Standing in that story, you can not have a productive relationship with a trans-attracted man. How can you when you are wondering about the validity of how the guy feels about you?

Instead of asking the very general question “are straight men really [into] transwomen” We would be asking “is this particular man REALLY INTERESTED in ME?”

This question is far more relevant.

You’d be better off putting all your attention on your personal life experience. Instead of trying to understand about ALL men’s feelings about ALL transgender women, which is a hugely varied set of opinions you will likely not clearly understand ever – because they are constantly changing – it is more productive, and relevant to keep your nose in your own affairs.

That means asking: is he interested in me?

Here are some questions that are even more valuable :
  • Do I consider myself more than my trans status?
  • If so, why am I so concerned about others’ opinion about this part of me [my trans status] which is a very small part of the WHOLE ME?
  • What kind of sex am I wanting? Do I want casual sex, or am I more interested in something meaningful? (neither is better than the other, but you want to understand where you are so you make wise choices)
  • If a person just wants to have sex with me, is he really showing interest in me as a person? Or as a masturbatory tool? In other words, am I being treated as a means to this person’s sexual gratification alone, or am I being seen as a person, with my own desires and interests?
By asking these questions you start to understand yourself more. You begin to understand the stories creating your life experience.
Armed with that information, you now have some freedom to choose new stories. Ones that will serve you far better, by connecting you with people who match those better stories.
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Your dreams come at nature speed

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In our latest IN YOUR FACE SHOW, we talked about how important it is that trans-attracted men slow down in order to get what they’re wanting. Slowing down is such a big deal, it’s amazing people don’t know this. But if they did, they would achieve more of what they’re wanting with far less frustration.

Part of the problem is we’re all trained to believe we are solely responsible for making things happen. In our “get shit done”, “Work hard, play hard”, rugged individualist world, we learn very early the value of working hard, staying busy, focusing on our goals and going it alone.

But materializations – how material results emerge – do not happen as it appears: it’s never the result of hard work and struggle. And very rarely, if EVER, do things happen anywhere close to “over night” even though people believe so much in “over night successes”. The things you’re wanting come when you’re ready for them. That means, you have release enough momentum-resistance that they can come easily into your life.

Notice that a lot of people (more than would admit) usually find a partner when they give up actively looking, or when they let go of expectations about what that person should be. What’s really happening when people finally find their partner is they have stopped focusing on the absence of that person. Which leads us to the other part of the problem.

The other part of the problem, the far more important part, is that when you’re out looking for the partner, you are always and naturally focused on the absence of the person you’re looking for rather than the presence of that person. That should make sense. You’re out at bars, online or otherwise “trying to find” that person, which means, you are aware of that person is ABSENT from your life. When you go out, or you search online, and your efforts there produce zilch, the emotion you feel is negative: frustration, anxiety, irritation, disappointment, etc.

When you’re feeling this way you also aren’t focused on being with your partner. Instead, you’re focused on your partner’s absence as well as the seeming futility of your efforts.

Beginning to get this?

So the key to having your partner – or anything else for that matter – is to enjoy the process, realizing your partner is already in your life and that your Inner Being is orchestrating circumstances that will connect you with her when you’re a match to her.

Your Inner Being is trying to guide you along a path leading to your partner. But if you’re in frustration, anxiety, irritation or disappointment, you can’t hear the signals, the impulse. Instead, you hear signals leading you to more frustration, anxiety, irritation, disappointment. That’s how you end up doing the same things over and over again rather than trying a different approach.

This is why slowing down is so important. When you slow down, soothe your mind and relax into your life, you begin to tap into the rhythm of your Inner Being which is the natural world’s rhythm. From there you can hear your Inner Being’s signals as impulses to take certain actions. Those actions will always lead to pleasurable experiences. These experiences often seem to have nothing to do with meeting your partner. But if you faithfully follow all the impulses you get, you will absolutely wind up meeting that person. But not when you think you should. You’ll meet that person when you’re ready. And if you’re feeling frustration, anxiety, irritation, disappointment, etc., you are decidedly NOT ready.

We go into good detail about how to tap into your Inner Being in this week’s show. Watch it and if you have any questions, let us know.

 

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Following your impulses gives you everything

 

No matter who you are, your Inner Being will guide you to everything you want. The key is calming your mind and then training yourself to know the difference between your random thoughts and your Inner Being. It takes a while to train your everyday mind to soothe, but it is so worth it.

  • To give up having to struggle to get the love you want
  • To give up thinking the world is a random place where people randomly get what they want, but mostly get what they don’t want
  • To give up thinking you are somehow unworthy of love
  • To give up feeling alone
  • To give up feeling that everything and everyone is against you somehow

There are so many more of these kinds of thoughts you naturally let go of once you connect with your Inner Being. Why? Because when you do, you discover through that most important relationship, that you are blessed, you are loved and you are receiving all that you’re wanting because you create your reality.

We’re demonstrating it in our own lives as are our clients. Now, it’s time for you to demonstrate it in your own life. Our examples, our words can go only so far in convincing you. At some point you have to test what we offer. And let your Inner Being and your life experience offer you the evidence you need….to believe.

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A life worth living can be yours

ariel-lustre YOU CAN HAVE IT ALLIf there is anything that’s worth having in life, it’s a life worth living.

A life full of fun, a life full of joy, a life full of freedom, wealth and love…all these are possible…for everyone. Even you.

Of course, at The Transamorous Network we focus on realizing that relationship you’ve always wanted. Yes, we mean “always”. For you may not have been aware of your transattraction, but it has always been a part of you.

So yes, you always wanted it. And that wanting has put a lot of different potential partners into your reality experience.

But your connection to that stream of perfect-partners-for-you feels like a freaking nightmare when you’re living life oblivious to how life “happens”, how it is created (by you) in hour present-moment experience. With this mindset, it’s difficult to see how life is working out perfectly for you. Even when it is.

And it always is.

Men: You are getting everything you want. If you aren’t having that experience in your life, it’s because you’re shooting yourself in the foot by living unconsciously.

Women: Same for you.

You don’t have to buy our guide for men or our guide for transwomen to understand this. But it sure makes the process of understanding easier. Otherwise, you gotta keep coming back here and reading all this. We don’t mind though. Keep coming back. As with life, there’s always something more to learn.