Trans Or Trans-Attracted: You’re Meant To Be Happy


Not happy FB blog
You came to live continually happy and getting all you want. Why aren’t you?

Relationships don’t make a person happy.

Having that transgender lover you want isn’t going to make you happy.

Having that new job, or that car you want, or that money you’re wanting won’t do it either.

When you satisfy a desire, you feel the satisfaction, sure.

But notice: over time, that satisfaction (and satisfaction is what you mistake as happiness) fades as it is replaced by new desires.

  • That relationship, job, car or amount of money, no matter how wonderful at first, comes with inherent disappointments:
  • Relationships inherently are made of unmet expectations, frustration, trust issues and growth. Yes, you can be happy in them. But it’s often a roller coaster.
  • Jobs nearly always include frustrating bosses or colleagues, unwanted stressors, and rarely satisfying pay. No matter how much you make or how satisfying the work. Jobs and happiness are rarely in a long term relationship.
  • Cars come with traffic, car repairs, worries about it getting stolen, parking fees….money comes with…well you know.


Whatever material thing you’re wanting is like any satisfied desire. Once you get it, once it is fulfilled, you want more, or you discover more is possible.

But happiness is borne of in-the-moment-awareness of your recognition, your acknowledgment that your life is a delightful journey, orchestrated by you in every moment. When you get to that recognition, life becomes what it is meant to be: a continuous string of joyful experiences.

It takes a while to get there, not because it’s hard, because it’s easy. It takes a while to get there because you have to gradually slow the influence of your old way of living: thinking that life is hard, that you must work hard, that relationships are hard, that trans women are elusive, that men don’t like transgender women, that all trans-attracted men are gay or chasers….and on and on and on.

You are meant to live a happy life. It is as near as you saying that you want that, then doing something productive about it.

And when you find yourself happy, you get everything you’re wanting. Easily. Including that relationship, that car, that money and that job.

Not happy, why aren’t you?

Parents who get being trans like a boss

We love it when parents get it. Then take the effort to transform themselves in the same way their children are transforming.

It’s not an easy path realizing your child is likely transgender. What we think is remarkable is when a parent’s love for their child trumps what they think their child should do be or wear.

Case in point: This woman’s description of her own transition as a mother of a transgender child. Her concluding paragraph says it all:

I push through my discomfort and do what I can to explain all this to the people I know or encounter, hoping to help them undertake the minimal work to call transgender people by language that reflects their true selves. If parents would let themselves feel proud and amazed, instead of scared, when their kids grow and change, they might just grow and change themselves. And if they’re very lucky, their kids, like mine, will help the world grow and change, too.

We really appreciate the phrase “minimal work”. It really is minimal to change one’s language. Compared to what transgender individuals go through to own their transition, changing one’s language is simple. But also really powerful.

We’re glad to see parents embracing their transgender children. It’s just more evidence of the world shifting to embrace these wonderful people.

And it’s more evidence supporting your coming out of the closet trans-attracted man. The shame you may feel about being attracted to trans people is self-inflicted. You don’t have to feel that way.

We can help you.