There’s Nothing Like Liberation From One’s Family

Photo by Museums Victoria on Unsplash

American, and many other cultures, venerate the family. For many people, family represents culture’s bedrock.

But family also remains the prime source of beliefs so detrimental to human civilization, it’s a wonder civilizations get along as well as they do.

That’s why there’s nothing more liberating than finding freedom from one’s family. Expectations, pressures and bogus beliefs formed as a result of coming into the world through them can throw us off the path we chose before coming here.

It’s a wonder so many transgender and trans-attracted people crave acceptance from families that would otherwise “disown” them. Such families do such “victims” a massive favor when they do disown them. They free such people from insidious stories. Stories which can debilitate a person for the rest of their lives.

My birth family was the path through which I came into the world. Nothing more. Most of my youth I spent alone, in the woods, or with friends on the streets. My parents offered little in the way of forming family bonds. My father left after divorcing my mother when I was nine. After that, my mom focused on raising us. But also doing what she could to enjoy her life.

I bore no judgement toward her behavior. I appreciate, even now, sacrifices she made for us. Or rather, actions she took out of her own sense of responsibility for bringing children into the world.

I recall many tender moments when my mother was very much a good mom. And moments when she bitterly blamed her three boys for burdens we experienced, the main one being her divorce from my father. My mother really loved my father. Racism tore our family apart.

But that’s another story.

Stories with no stickiness

Playing with my mothers clothing clued me in on my unique nature. So did the amount of time I enjoyed being by myself. In my classes for gifted students, I did nothing remotely academic. I just enjoyed exploring my thoughts and personal interests.

Joining the Marines after high school finally separated my family and I for good. In the military I formed more of who I am today. I got clear about myself with little outside influence. Sure, the Marines shaped me. A lot. But that shaping was very much in line with what I knew myself to be: disciplined, focused, individual.

I visited my mother off and on after the Marines. But it never felt like coming home. Home for me is wherever I am at the moment. So when I told my mother, now as an adult, that my real mother was “the Universe”, she wasn’t happy to hear that. And yet, I believe she wasn’t surprised. I think she knew I never felt part of what she believed to be “family”.

Thankfully, stories that made the “Grubers” weren’t all that sticky. Not for me anyway. I felt no longing when away from siblings. I thought little about my brothers. Instead, I felt most connected to All That Is, the real essence from which I spring, from which we all spring.

But I get others choose families as entry points with very strong stories. Such stories make it exceedingly difficult when those stories drive family members to ostracize or disown some of their own because of who or what they are. Where is the love in such families? Where’s the unconditional love spoken of so highly?

Family pressures borne of bogus stories

And yet I understand how some transgender women struggle with stories they’ve taken on. Stories which have them believe they need their families.

I get why many trans-attracted men fear so intensely reactions their fathers and mothers might have were the men to declare, proud and out loud, this aspect of themselves. Stories we receive from parents can powerfully shape our own stories. Stories about ourselves. And, yes, stories which force a choice between being authentically who we are, or, being part of the family. “Being part of the family” meaning: living up to expectations parents and families have for us.

Leaving behind family is often the best thing a person can do. Especially if one wants to live authentically. (Photo by Mantas Hesthaven on Unsplash)

Such stories propel people on wayward paths, often away from their authenticity. People build entire careers based on those stories. They get married because of these stories, when it would have been better not to. They have children.

Some even commit suicide. Internal pressures from stories adopted from families can be that powerful. And cause that much suffering.

So stories, expectations and such often lie at the heart of people’s decisions. So subtle they are, those making such decisions don’t know adopted stories are deciding for them. Thankfully there is always time to course-correct.

Many of my clients come tangled in the web of bogus stories driving their actions. Often they originate in family dynamics. It’s not that such stories aren’t true. Any story or belief will draw sufficient evidence to cause it to become “true”.

It’s just that such stories often don’t align with purposes inherent in my clients’ knowing. So they come to me seeking realignment. They don’t know this until joy that’s been elusive returns. From there they discover courage to be who they really are.

Liberation frees one to love

If only people knew how many human families they’ve had throughout the many lifetimes they’ve experienced. If they only realized the loving and eternal bonds they share with their Broader Perspective, beings who are, even now, looking on them and blessing them with a love more powerful and enduring than any a human can give. Even a parent.

If they knew these things they would more powerfully choose being who they know themselves to be. Instead of kowtowing to the idea of what they should be according to their parents, according to their family, and then suffering through all that.

There’s nothing like the liberation borne of being authentic. Often that liberation comes at a cost: liberating oneself from one’s family. I’ve known this all along. I know my experience is rare, me having done this at a very early age. But I believe it was meant this way so I could offer liberation to those who need a hand up, out of the fear familial stories sometimes trigger.

I know the powerful, overwhelming love of my Broader Perspective, my Whole Self and my cadre. It’s from there I offer all I do in my blogs. I do so expecting it makes a difference, with my clients, specifically, but also with the entire human civilization.

I see those results happening, and so I’m grateful. And I know my parents’ Broader Perspectives agree with my path.

But their agreement isn’t a prerequisite to my satisfaction. My satisfaction stems from my authenticity expressed, and the love I feel in return from those who support me in my real home: the nonphysical realm. Where all things begin, end and begin again.