The men are coming

Transamorous Man AgeI’m eager for the day when more transamorous men are out and open about their romantic attraction to transwomen. I’m certainly doing my part, with this blog, my new podcast and the fledgling YouTube Channel. I recently sent invitations to like ten men I’ve seen online in various websites, sharing their interest in transwomen via M4T posts. So far not one has accepted the invitation or even replied.

There’s a reason I call The Man’s Guide To Finding Your Transgender Partner “The Man’s” guide. To quote directly from the guide:

It’s called “The man’s guide to finding a transgender partner” for a reason.  Getting what you want means embracing who you are in all your glorious authenticity.  It takes courage, persistence, patience, self-awareness.  You must overcome those fears.  Good news is the Universe is standing by to back you up.  The results you produce will be worth it.

A “man” in today’s world is not the same “man” that you’ve learned in school, from family or books and movies.  A “man” in this case is someone who lives life authentically, on his own terms, who doesn’t give a shit what others think, and has an optimistic, constructive perspective on the life he sees and is creating.

Don’t worry if this isn’t you.  Within every male is a man waiting to get out.  The process outlined in this book is a great way of freeing your authentic manhood.  That’s because living authentically and pursuing your dream will require you to develop those characteristics listed above.

I know there are men who are married to transwomen. I know there are men who are dating transwomen. I know there are at least two men who are being authentic about their attraction to transwomen without a care for what the world thinks of them.

The momentum already has begun. Soon there will be thousands of men, tens of thousands, out and proud about who they love and who they are.

Transwomen and the entire trans community will be so much better off when that day comes. And it is coming.

How Many New Yorks are there?

FullSizeRenderAsk 10 people about New York.  You’re likely to get ten different answers. One person might describe Brooklyn.  Another Manhattan.  Another: the museums and tourist attractions. Another: the beautiful people and diversity.  One person might go on about how dirty, crowded, loud, crime-ridden, expensive and appalling the city is.  Another might describe how cosmopolitan, rich, luxurious, beautiful, modern, exciting and fun it is.

All these descriptions are accurate. Are there ten different New Yorks?  The answer is: it depends. What does it depend on? Which story you want to believe. All these descriptions are accurate…for the person describing the city.  All the descriptions have more to do with the person’s intent in experiencing the city, or living there, or working there.  In other words, we experience New York through our stories, our intents, our purposes.

So it goes with our intents, our stories our purposes for relationship.  What is your intent, your purpose for telling a story that “all men who are interested in transwomen are scumbags, users or objectifiers”?  How about “there are no good men who are interested in me”?  What is the purpose in telling the story “I can’t authentically act on my desire for a transwoman because I’ll lose my friends, my job or my current life”?

How you experience your life is totally up to you. You can change the stories you tell about your life.  In doing so, you will change your life.

If you’re wanting to document the what is of your life, keep telling disempowering stories. The only cost is, you’re doomed to repeating disempowering experiences.  If you want to create the “what is” of your life, deliberately, so that your life reflects what you want, instead of what you don’t want.  You may want to look at your stories and why you keep telling them to yourself and to anyone else who will listen.

Next up: Lilly

QueernessLilly Wachowski, sister of Larry, and famous director of The Matrix and Cloud Atlas may be the latest transwoman to embrace her authenticity. With the CONSTANT number of people coming out as transgender, I’m not so sure that’s the case. One thing is certain. She’s smart. The article chronicling her outing shows (to me) a thoughtful, deep personality who is questioning our collective reality. More people are doing this folks.

How many more must come out, Transamorous Men, before we come out in larger numbers? I think it’s fucking fantastic that now the Wachowski’s have both joined the ranks of the transgender community. But what is even more fantastic to me, is the quote Lilly references, a quote she keeps on her office wall:


Queerness is essentially about the rejection of a here and now and an insistence on potentiality for another world.
–  José Muñoz
This quote is exactly how I see the community. We are calling from the future to ourselves in the present to have faith and courage as we guide humanity along a course where gender diversity, sexuality diversity, DIVERSITY OF ALL KINDS is beyond de rigueur. It is commonplace, the norm and accepted as such.
Congratulations Lilly. Who’s next?