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How to let go to go with the flow

How to go with the flowHere’s more detail about HOW going with the flow makes your life so much easier.

It is an important concept. We thought the details would help people.

“The flow” is two-pronged. It is your life experience. But it is also your ongoing reactions to your life experience.

Bottom line: The more you knee-jerkingly react to your life experience, the more similar life experiences you’re going to have. That’s it in a nutshell.

So if you’re not enjoying your life, and you’re cranky about it, frustrated about it, complaining about it…guess what? You’re going to have more experiences like those.

Apply this to finding a transgender partner or a man who will love you for who you are:

If you’re complaining about the quality of transwomen you’re meeting, you’re going to meet more just like them.

If you’re frustrated about men who are afraid to take you out, you have a series of stories creating life experience consistent with those kinds of men.

It literally is NOT rocket science. Life works exactly this way. Whether you believe it does or not.

So what do you do?

Do the best you can to SLOW DOWN. Catch those complaining thoughts that have become automatic. Turn the thoughts into empowering ones (in the video we tell you how). Then watch your life change before your eyes!

We promise this works, because it works for us and our clients. You can listen to the show here. It’s worth watching until the end:

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Trans woman crowned Miss Universe Spain

Screen Shot 2018-06-30 at 10.38.50 AM.jpg
The beautiful Angela Ponce, yesterday became the first trans woman to claim a national Miss Universe title.

Angela Ponce, 25 Friday became the first transgender woman to win a Miss Universe National Title. We’re not surprised. And there will be more awesome advances for trans people everywhere. Congratulations Angela!

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Transgender not a mental illness: WHO

WHO TRANSGENDER.jpgSometimes, large organizations are among the slowest to wake up and smell the roses. But at least they do….eventually.Is th

The World Health Organization (WHO) recently announced it is revising its international manual of diagnoses in order to DECLASSIFY transgender as a mental illness.

Just in time for Pride.

A big deal?

Well..it is a big deal because according to IFL Science, which first broke the news, codes in the manual of diagnoses are used by countries to determine where to invest resources as well as how to set certain insurance billing standards. By declassifying being transgender as a mental illness, it now becomes an sexual health issue of, not a mental health one, which removes a lot of stigma from being trans and might offer more resources to the community.

At least at the international diplomatic level.

But hey, every bit of progress IS progress and should be celebrated.

WHO says enough evidence exists suggesting that being transgender is not a mental disorder and classifying it as such can cause “enormous stigma” for those who identify themselves as transgender.

Of course, we knew that.

Now, we also knew there always has been evidence confirming being trans (or trans attracted) is not a mental illness. It’s understandable though that WHO is making the “now there is enough evidence” argument: they have to reach all their constituency, which I’m sure includes people who still disbelieve.

It’s great to see the WHO joining the growing list of organizations coming to the right side of history. Here’s a video of a WHO representative speaking about the revision:

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Fear and loathing creates more fear and loathing

Screen Shot 2018-06-12 at 10.51.49 AM.jpgRemy was a star last week.

Portland Community College’s (PCC) art department, invited her to critique a highly controversial sculpture. I attended for moral support.

Controversy surrounded the work because, apparently, it was created by a cisgender woman. And PCC’s transgender community…well actually, apparently two community members…were not happy with it.

The artist’s work was not only displayed in the college’s art gallery, it won an award.

Both accomplishments attested to the work’s technical quality. But its subject matter was significantly disturbing…to some.

The artwork was of a transgender woman. The sculpture depicted the subject in repose, her legs crossed. Between her legs a disproportionately HUGE penis (IMO) laying flaccid against her thigh.

We were told (although we couldn’t see it) that the “ball sack” was squeezed between her legs from the back.

This piece pissed off two transgender community members and perhaps a small number of non-trans community members for a couple reasons. According to those present, the artwork exploited “trans ness”, was “cultural appropriation” and left at least one transgender woman feeling “exposed” in the PCC community, causing her to have panic attacks among other intense feelings.

Another student, not a trans community member, was nonetheless upset because the artist, amidst the controversy, changed her explanation about the work. This student felt the artist didn’t stand by or acknowledge the work’s controversial nature. She thus  disrespected the community through her naive understanding of the transgender community and issues surrounding it.

During the event we attended, the artist did seem visibly upset by the controversy, and also expressed extreme regret for the outcome. I’ll get to in a future post.  She did allude to her own ambiguity around her gender, suggesting her artwork was an extension of that.

I intend to interview her in a subsequent post. There’s a lot to unpack around the flap that generated around this bronze work.

This post is about teeing up the subject. I don’t want to try to explain all that happened because so much did happen and there is a TON to explore about that. So in my next post, I’ll bring more to light.

But what I will say here is the exchange offered a glimpse into all kinds of opinions people have about the controversial topic that is “trans ness.”

And it’s really fascinating.

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Be thoughtful about Pride Month

Chris Johnson WHAT STORIES
Photo by Chris Johnson

Seems every minority has a month. The LGBTQ community is no exception. This month is Pride.

An interesting factoid about Pride: it was spearheaded by the transgender community. Pride sprung from the Stonewall Riots. A major figure at Stonewall was Marsha P. Johnson, a well-known black transwoman in the community. Her and other transgender people were primarily responsible for sowing the seeds which became pride festivals celebrated across the country.

But that’s not really the real interesting factoid. The really interesting factoid is that while gay, lesbian and bisexuals primarily benefit from Pride awareness, those same communities once rejected transgender people from their ranks.

To some degree they still do. Despite this, we see a tremendous upsurge of transgender awareness. I think that’s exceptional. Trans people will not be held back. They represent a leading edge of what it means to be human and humanity is wanting to express itself in ALL ways.

Regardless how others think about transgender people and the people who love them, Pride offers a reminder for transgender people and those who find transgender people attractive to check your stories. What is it you’re thinking about who and what you are? Are your stories positive? Are they uplifting? They better be if you’re wanting what you want.

Your stories about you, about the world, about everything are determining your life experience. This month, take a moment to reflect on what you’re thinking, sharing, tweeting, reposting, reading.

It makes all the difference in the only world that matters: yours.